Looking super chic today in my brown boots, gray tights, gray pencil skirt, loose white v neck and bomber jacket, I had one mission: make guys notice the stunningly attractive girl that I am.
When I informed my mother of my feeling degraded by the fact that in one whole semester not one man has flirted with me, she said, but you have a boyfriend.
Yeah ok mom. Just because I do, not every person on campus knows that and so I am rather offended that not one person has found me attractive enough to hit on, flirt with, or ask out.
So I spent An Unspeakable Amount of Time this morning making myself look Worthy Of Men’s Time. And all through the day I was utterly disappointed when lo and behold, staring down the bookshelves of the idyllic BYU bookstore attempting to make it produce desired textbook in an effort to forgo having to rummage through the piles of picked over gold plates of Writing 150, I look up and some 949 guy is standing behind me waiting for his turn to go scuba diving in those not-placed-where-they-should-be-thus-making-life-harder books. I apologize, move, and by some miracle of the gods he stares and says “you have the most beautifully vivid eyes..”
Me: who put you up to this
949 boy: what
Me: no really who paid you to do this
949: what no really your eyes are like-
Me: was it my brother? (I had earlier complained to him about my lack of received male attention)
949: I’m just being honest I love them they’re like stars
Me: it was him wasn’t it
Just kidding.I laugh and say “thanks” and walk off after turning to glance back at him in politely feigned interest.
Because however sincere the compliment and however proud I am my shockingly lovely light starry blue eyes I just can’t bring myself to go anywhere (literally or figuratively) with Someone From Orange County. Enoug said.
Nevertheless, my mission for the day was accomplished and now I can eat my cereal in happiness.